Fat and Healthy

Why am I losing weight? The simple answer would be to say “to get healthy”, but that would be a wrong word choice because people would assume I’m talking about being physically healthy. As far as my physical health goes I’m happy being a “fatty”. I know what some people might think – What the hell? Really? Why would you be ok with being fat, after all, your health is at risk! Maybe it is, but I don’t believe that simply being fat puts my PHYSICAL HEALTH at risk. But, but, that’s crazy talk, EVERYONE knows that being fat is physically unhealthy! Yes, and everyone also “knew” that the sun revolved around the earth, that blood-letting is an effective treatment for curing disease, and that drilling a hole in someone’s head would release the “demons” that cause seizures and psychological diseases. History is full of “facts” that everyone knew.

Being fat can be, and often is, a symptom of a lack of good nutrition and healthy amounts of physical activity. But being fat doesn’t automatically mean that someone is lacking healthy eating habits and physical exercise. Just as being thin or average sized doesn’t automatically mean that someone eats right and exercises regularly. Human beings naturally come in a WIDE range of shapes, and sizes, colors, heights, etc.

I’ve read a lot on weight and health and have found much of what the media presents as factually sound medical fact is often “junk science”. Now I know there are fat people that are very unhealthy, just as there are thin and average size people who sit around eating junk food and playing video games all day and are very unhealthy. But weight and health are two separate issues. When it comes to one’s health, weight has less to do with it then does one’s activity levels (exercise) and their eating habits. And that is something that is so VASTLY far removed from what we as a society have been taught to believe. We have been taught to believe that thin = healthy and that fat = unhealthy.

You can be fat and healthy? WHAT? You can be thin and unhealthy? WHAT? Yeah, I’m not expecting anyone that reads this to believe it, simply because it’s not what the media and our current society has taught us. And frankly I’m over trying to enlighten people. I spent 5 years trying to bring the truth of weight and health to others, but when one is fighting against something that is so ingrained in our social consciousness… well needless to say it’s nearly impossible to get people to open up to anything that might counteract what they have been told all their lives to be truth.

But regardless of what much of our society believes, I know that it’s possible to be fat and healthy at the same time. And that’s why, as far as my physical health goes, I’m happy being a fat girl. The reason I AM trying to lose weight is because of my desire to be healthy on all levels – and I’ve found that being fat in today’s society isn’t emotionally and mentally healthy for ME. What do I mean by that? Stay tuned, and I’ll explain myself. Though those of you who may have spent extended periods of time interacting with people and society while inhabiting a fat body most likely know what I mean. For now I just wanted to clarify the WHY of what I am doing here. And to make it clear what the “Healthy” in “HealthyForMe” really stands for.

Until next time – Be well, my fellow travelers!

PS- Check out this awesomeness: http://kateharding.net/faq/but-dont-you-realize-fat-is-unhealthy/

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Food Diary

Today I started a Food Diary. So far I adore it as it has kept me from snacking. For breakfast I had a fruit smoothie, for lunch a sandwich and water. So far so good. I’m hungry but have no intention of eating until dinner time – knowing I’ll have to write down what I eat and “own it” is a good way to keep from snacking.

I won a scale on eBay today – yay! So as soon as it gets here (hopefully soon) I’ll be able to keep track of my weight.

Banana, Strawberry, and Kiwi Smoothie

1 banana, 4 large strawberries, 2 kiwis, 1 cup soy milk, 1 table spoon vanilla extract

Cut up fruit. Blend all ingredients in blender until smooth. Add zero cal sweetener if desired.

Weight Loss – The Tools

Ok since I’m totally committed to this journey I figure it’s time to spend a little bit of money to get some tools to help me along the way. After all, having the right tools is important. Even an amazing artist like Michelangelo needed the right tools to create David and the Sistine Chapel paintings. So, as I no longer have a scale that works for my size I am currently watching a scale on eBay and I hope to have it won in the next 24 hours. I’ve also procured a seamstress tape to keep track of my inches and a new blender (yay for fruit and soy milk smoothies!).

I have to say I’m kind of scared to post my inches.

Today’s Goals: a) Measure my inches. b) Somehow find the courage to post them.

Dear Inner Thin Girl

Dear Inner Thin Girl,

I wanted to thank you for nudging me to work out an extra 15 minutes yesterday, the extra time pushed my muscles to that special place where I am utterly sore and stiff the next day. I felt like an 80 year old getting out of bed this morning. That time WOULD have been worth it if not for your decision to NOT speak up when Inner Weakling decided to sabotage that progress with two chocolate chip cookies three hours later, thus making that extra effort null and void. Moral of the story: We need to work on our communication.

Today’s Weight: I don’ t know. The last scale I had I “outgrew” nearly two years ago. Hmmm With no scale I need a way to track my progress. Maybe get a seamstress tape and measure inches?

Today’s Goal: A) Throw away the rest of the chocolate chip cookies (and figure out how to explain to the boyfriend why I “wasted” them). B) Watch an 80’s dance movie and dance when they do

You’re too FAT to wear that!

I will be leaving Planet Fat. I’m on my way. I’m determined to set up camp (and hopefully a permanent residence) in the world of thin. What I’m looking forward to the most: the clothes, shoes, accessories that are denied to fat girls like me because A) They don’t make it in our size, B) It looks like crap on us, or C) They make it in our size but it’s nearly impossible to find and cost a TON

  • BOOTS!

Boots

Any girl with fat legs knows the pain of never being able to find boots that fit. Cute boots in all their variety of colors and personalities have been something I’ve often longed for. Personally I’ve not been able to wear boots that rose higher than the ankle since my freshmen year in high school.

  • Sheer!

Sheer anything takes courage and body confidence. Sheer is not something I’ve often found myself wanting to experience due to ultra body shyness (likely due to, of course, being a fat girl) but it would be nice to have the option.

  • Belts!

A great belt can turn an outfit from boring to BAM! I’ve often marveled at the wonderful diversity in the styles, shapes, and sizes of belts, but in my adult life I’ve never been able to find one big enough to fit me.

  • Shorts and Skirts!

Some fat girls have great legs, but most of us are nearly phobic when it comes to showing our stems. From “cancles” to cellulite the fear of wearing anything that shows off the leg flesh can be down right sweat inducing. FYI, summer for fat girls are particularly brutal. While everyone else is wearing less clothing and showing more flesh to stay cool most of us fat girls keep our bodies covered as much as possible least we offend anyone with our ample bodies. I remember the first time I was with a group of friends and and they spotted a “fatty” in shorts and a close fitting short sleeved top. After enduring their disrespect of her with words like “beached whale” “muffin top” “cellulite city” I was forever after too afraid to wear anything even remotely revealing, even in the hottest of summer months.

  • Dresses!

Dresses require something called a waist unless you want to look like you’re wearing a sack or a moo moo. I’ve owned one dress in my adult life and couldn’t bring myself to wear the shapeless sack of a thing in public. The “little black dress” that is supposedly a staple in every girl’s closet is rarely seen gracing the closet of girls my size.

  • Sleeveless!

Arm flab and sleeveless outfits don’t mix. I’ve not been able to wear sleeveless (or anything with mini-sleeves) since I was 12.

  • Stockings!

I’ve never worn stockings but have always wished I could. Even as a kid I always tried to hide my fat legs behind jeans, slacks, or skirts that went all the way down to my ankles. Having the slim sexy legs to show off with cute stockings is something I’ve craved for as long as I can remember. I’ve not even been able to find stockings in my size even if I did have the courage to wear them.

  • Swimsuits!

I was 8 last time I could wear a swim suit and it was one of those ugly frumpy grandma suits with the top more like a shirt and the bottom with the odd extra cloth to form a faux skirt in the front to hide tummies. I used to love the water, and I’m sure I still do, but I haven’t been swimming in over 10 years. You can’t exactly swim in pants.

  • Watches and Bracelets!

Thick wrists make it very hard to find watches and bracelets that fit. The ones that do fit tend to bind too tightly and not dangle in the flattering and feminine way they are often meant to. Beaded bracelets can be hand-made or special ordered but often times they come at a much higher price.

So there you have it. Some of the things I’m GREATLY looking forward too once I shed the pounds. I know I have a long way to go but keeping in mind those things I will be able to enjoy after reaching my goal will help keep me focused.

In a closing note:

Fat girls are often seen as having no fashion sense. With our insanely limited choices (particularly for those who do not have a ton of money to spend) this is nearly unavoidable in our current society.  Until bigger girls are given more choices and they start designing fashionable clothes that fit us, we are doomed to frumpy, drab, or gaudy clothes that just don’t flatter our fashion sense or our bodies. I am sick to death of animal prints, gaudy colors, and giant flower prints… enough is enough. I don’t know what designers are thinking – but not every big girl wants to wear something that A) It looks like something a very old grandmother would enjoy or B) looks like something that was made from couch fabric with insane colors or wild gaudy prints.

The World of BIG

As a member of the Tribe of FatGirl there is a certain club that I am not allowed to be a part of. A club that “normal sized” people take for granted. A club that lets you shop in nearly every store, fit into any adult sized seat, and partake of nearly any experience (given time and money) that life has to offer. This is a club I’ve been shut out of all of my life, but a club I’m not longer content to observe from the outside. The Club of Thin is one club I intend to become a part of ASAP.

Born nearly 10 lbs to a diabetic mother I was a fat baby who grew to be a fat toddler, then a fat child, a fat teenager, and now a fat adult. At 30 years old there has never been a time in my life where “fat” wasn’t an adjective that accurately described me. This is a fact that I am changing. God willing, I will no longer belong to the Tribe of FatGirl.

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” This is a statement I never really grasped the full weight of (forgive the pun), until now. Today IS the first day of the rest of MY LIFE. Today I start a journey.

Today’s Weight: I don’t know. The scale I had I “outgrew” two years ago. I need another way to track my progress.

Today’s Goal: 1) Work out for at least an hour. 2) Abstain from consuming any sugar or flour (sweets and carbs are my weakness).

Be the Change! ONWARD!